The Religion "Shit List"

Shit Happens in various World Religious

Taoism:
Shit happens.

Confucianism:
Confucious say, "Shit happens".

Buddhism:
If shit happens, it isn't really shit.

Zen:
What is the sound of shit happening?

Atheism:
No shit!

Agnosticism
How can we KNOW if shit happens?

7th Day Adventism:
Shit happens on Saturdays.

Hinduism:
I've seen this shit happening before.

Protestantism:
If shit happens, praise the lord for it!

Presbyterianism:
This shit was bound to happen.

Episcopalianism:
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.

Methodist:
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

Quakers:
Let us not fight over this shit.

Catholicism:
If shit happens, you deserved it.

Judaism:
Why does shit always happen to US?

Sunni Islam:
If it happens to be shit, it's Allah's will.

New Age:
For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.

Jehovah's Witnesses:
Knock Knock, "Shit Happens."

Secular Humanism:
Shit evolves.

Darwinism:
This shit was once food.

Creationism:
... And the Lord said "Let there be shit" ... and there came piles of it.
After six days of this shit, He rested.

Christian Science:
Shit happens in your mind.

Mormonism:
Excrement happens. (you can't say 'shit' in Utah)

Energizer Bunny:
Shit happens and happens and happens and ...

Southern Baptist:
Shit will happen. Praise the lord!

Orthodox:
St. Sergius found his faith in deep shit.

Fundamentalism:
There's no shit in the Bible.

Twelve Step:
Shit happens one day at a time.

Amish:
This modern shit is worthless.

Zoroastrianism:
Shit happens half the time.

Mysticism:
This is really weird shit.

Paganism:
Shit happens for a variety of reasons.

Satanism:
SNEPPAH TIHS.

Scientology:
This shit happened before, but we can clean it up if you pay us enough.

Wicca:
And it harm none, let shit happen.

Spam:
Spam happens.

Voodoo:
Let's stick some pins in this shit!

Televangelism:
Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening...

Rastafarianism:
Let's smoke this shit!